My friend Eduardo is having a party next Friday night, celebrating his new digs in Alexandria, VA.
The roommates and I were invited, but Eduardo mistakenly forgot to include my email in the email chain...
After much crying to Roommate G (as she and Eduardo are co-workers in the great land of DC), Eduardo realized the error of his ways and sent me a heartfelt email, apologizing and cordially inviting me to his shindig.
I present it to you now in all of it's hilarity.
(I do this, simply because the level of bullshit, snark, and sheer stupidity is OFF THE WALL,
and had the tears ROLLING down my cheeks at my cubicle.)
_______________________________________________________________________________
My dearest Ashley,
It has become apparent that you have are the single most important person in my life. I still remember the first time we met, how you so kindly invited me and 5 other people into your ford escort. It was in the tight space in your front seat, when I first felt a new presence in my heart. From that point on I knew I would someday be sending you this very message.
As the battery that keeps me going (and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going...) I need you in my life. This will be especially true next Friday the 27th of January 2012. I'm afraid my (alcohol) limits will be tested, and without the proper motivation (your beautiful face and equally astounding personality) I could succumb to the detrimental effects of inebriation.
And so here we are; me, a simple man starving for your attendance, and you, in all of your kindness and splendor. Please consider putting this lame horse out of his misery and come to the house-party I am having next Friday. I will forever be indebted to your amazingness if you would grant me this one request.
I'll be readily awaiting your reply,
-Eduardo
It has become apparent that you have are the single most important person in my life. I still remember the first time we met, how you so kindly invited me and 5 other people into your ford escort. It was in the tight space in your front seat, when I first felt a new presence in my heart. From that point on I knew I would someday be sending you this very message.
As the battery that keeps me going (and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going...) I need you in my life. This will be especially true next Friday the 27th of January 2012. I'm afraid my (alcohol) limits will be tested, and without the proper motivation (your beautiful face and equally astounding personality) I could succumb to the detrimental effects of inebriation.
And so here we are; me, a simple man starving for your attendance, and you, in all of your kindness and splendor. Please consider putting this lame horse out of his misery and come to the house-party I am having next Friday. I will forever be indebted to your amazingness if you would grant me this one request.
I'll be readily awaiting your reply,
-Eduardo
_______________________________________________________________________________
Please keep in mind that I responded...
And yes, my response was pretty
E-P-I-C
Epic I tell you!!
Say tuned. Part deux tomorrow... or later tonight. I'm feeling generous.
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